gracie's 6 year photos

we're still here

Wow. Here I am again playing catch up. 

I wish I had more time to just sit, and type, but we all know that those opportunities are few and far between! 

We've been busy with the our newest lovey, and cleaning up outside. We're super excited about being able to spend every waking minute in our beautiful new yard, which I have yet to post one single picture of.

Little Benjamin is so easy. He's so content. Maybe it's the calm before the storm? Or maybe he's just going to be a good little drama-free perfect little boy in a house full of little dramatic girls! 

Whatever it is, we'll take it. He's perfect. 

Hailey is turning two in a couple days. 

Two, people.

She is potty trained now...Hurray!

And she loves her new baby more than anything. She has to kiss his head every time he's in my arms, and her hugs are hilarious. 

She wraps her arms around him, leaving about 3 inches on every side so she's not even touching him, and makes a grunt and actions out the biggest hug ever. It's pretty much the cutest thing, ever. 

  Hanna's loving the new warm weather that's been showing it's face around here. She's my little sun soaker-upper. If I had a big rock in the yard, I bet she would sun bathe like a little lizard all day long. We're going to get her going on her bike this year. She asks every time we go for a walk, but I have to wait until Matt is able to come with us, to help me out a bit. I'm confident she'll get it this year though. 

 Gracie's been finishing up school for the year. She's very ahead, and has been done her curriculum for months. Our last day of co-op is next week, and there will be a picnic with all of our friends, so that will be a good day as our official last day of school. For now, we're just doing review to keep her busy.

She told me the other day that she wants to be a "bike trainer", and teach little kids to ride bikes without training wheels because she's "so good at it". It's all she does these days. Goes up and down the driveway on her little bike. I'm sure that's why Hanna is so anxious to get on hers. 

I hope all is well with everyone else!

recital day

The day finally came for Gracie, Bryanna and Hanna's big recital. I've been prepping Hanna for it, letting her know she can do whatever she wants in terms of dancing or not. She decided she wanted to just watch. She still wanted to get dressed up into her recital costume, but she decided she wanted to "watch with her new baby". 

We managed to get front row seats, just for her, so could see Gracie and Bryanna dancing on stage. I asked her so many times during the show if she wanted to dance, but she was so happy to watch. She was the "WOO!!"er of our row, and would clap like crazy screaming "Yay girls!" after every performance. 

 Gracie and Bryanna did awesome, as expected. 

 I'm so proud of both of my little dancers. Good job this year, girls!!

and it's a....

BOY!

Baby Benjamin was born at 8:45pm Thursday night.

I went for my routine non-stress test and bio of the little guy, and asked, since I was due to come back in the next day for induction, if we could just do it! They agreed, and we had a very uneventful, pretty quick, labour and delivery!

I managed to go all natural again, and I'm glad I did. I can stay in control the entire time, and it's so worth it at the end!

The girls were surprised (as were Matt and I) that it was a boy. Gracie said "I was expecting a girl, but this is much better!"

Hanna kept saying "My boy baby is mine..." 

And Hailey is tickled. She giggles every time she sees him.

  He was 7lbs 12oz. Much smaller than I was expecting, since Hailey was so much bigger as a GD baby (9lbs 13oz).

 He's a perfect little guy, and I guess we'll keep him. :)
Welcome to your little family, Baby Ben.   

appointment update

The non-stress test done today went great, and the baby is doing wonderfully. Fluid levels are perfect, and we got an 8/8 on everything else.

They're giving an approximate weight of 7lb 8oz right now, and this little peanut seems to have a pretty good amount of hair too! :)

The ultrasound technician just had to find out what sex the baby was, and teased us later that she knows and we don't. NOT very nice! 

During the non-stress test the baby did everything he/she needed to in less in than ten minutes, so I think that proves that everything is going very well.

Next appointment is Tuesday with my OB, and we'll see what he has to say then!   

potty training and baby update

My little miss Hailey girl is almost my newest potty trained kiddo! I waited too long with her. She's going to be two at the end of the May, and so she's at the age where she already knows what she wants. For her, this is usually just being stubborn. :) 

She's been doing extremely well though, and we've already had many accident-free days! She doesn't tell me yet when she has to go, so I have to stay on top of her and ask her. Usually she'll go when I ask. 

My initial plan was to have her totally out of diapers before the new baby came. She is technically "out of diapers" but only at home and when we go out we throw a pull-up over her undies, which I may add that she is SO proud to be wearing! She's picky, and has to choose which ones she wants to wear.  I've been busy with that, to say the least! It is hard work and I'll be so happy when she's fully trained!! I am getting help with the training from Hanna though. She takes it as her responsibility to keep Hailey entertained on the toilet and makes sure I know when she has to go. (Apparently she can read Hailey's mind.) 
 

As for baby number 4, we have a date for induction if I don't go sooner. May 6th, is next Monday. As far as I know that's when we'll be meeting our newest addition!

I have a non-stress test tomorrow along with a bio-physical profile of the little one to estimate the size, so I'll give a quick update  tomorrow with those results. So far things are good. Insulin needs are steady at 18 units at nighttime, and 7 units in the morning before breakfast. My Endocrinologist isn't expecting to see me at my next appointment this coming Monday, hoping I'll go in early myself, but I guess we'll see about that one.

The older girls are doing great. Gracie was brave enough to go with me to get her ears pierced for her birthday, and she was pretty darn proud when she had both done. (Even though we had to hold her down for the second ear!)

She wanted so bad to get them done, so that was her present from us this year. 

Hanna is, well, Hanna. :) She talks so much now. I don't know why we ever worried about her! She still has Michele coming out every other week to work with her on specific goals and she's doing awesome with everything!!   She's hilarious because she loves cute, little things. Her workers know her so well and choose things specifically for her, and then almost regret it because she's so interested in how cute it is, and not as much into what she's supposed to do with it. Let's take the patterning for example. She sees the pretty little bows and cute little ducks, and goes on and on about how nice they are. 

"Oh wow!! Dat's so cute! Oh my doodness!! WOW!" Totally over the top, but so funny! It's very entertaining, and Michele really gets a kick out of her.         

Dear Gracie,

Today you turn 6 years old.

 

Six. I can't believe how the time flew by. I blinked and you were born.  I blinked and you could walk.  I turned around to cook dinner and you were talking.  I stopped for 13 minutes to have another baby and you could sing, jump and swim.  I ran to the grocery store and you're starting school. 

 

 Before you were born, I tried to imagine what you'd be like.

I never knew you'd be so moody, stubborn and impatient, although I should have seen that coming, given who your daddy is! :)  

I also never knew you'd be so loving, sweet, and accepting, and such an amazing big sister. 

 

We have some tough moments. You drive me nuts, especially when you get extra dramatic over something like what we're eating for dinner, or when you're not in the mood to do something that needs to be done. You are strong willed, and hard-headed. 

Mostly though, more than anything else, you make me proud. I'm proud of the way you wake up every morning with a smile on your face and a spring in your step, like you are ready for anything. I am proud of the way you take care of your sisters, and help me whenever you can. I'm proud of the way you've grown, mind and heart. How compassionate and empathic you are. You are learning who you are, and are happy with that. You are a leader.

 I love the look on your face when you've realized you've defeated a fear or conquered a goal, and when you know you've made me proud. 

I'm excited to see what this next year will bring. I've already witnessed such amazing growth from you, and although I'd love for you to stay my baby forever, I'm enjoying the little lady you're becoming just as much. 

Happy Birthday sweet girl!

I love you,
Mama 

that's my girl.

This week's regular Sunday dinner at my parent's house was rather...crazy, loud, and rambunctious. I think all the kids are getting stir crazy cooped up in the house. While everyone was eating, and still being quite obnoxious, Hanna yells out between bites of pork roast:

"Hey! What's goin' on here?!"

 

more hard work!

 She was told to sort the yellow, white and blue ducks by colour. She willingly did the pink and black too.

Pattern! Notice the next one she's putting down is the correct pink!

stinker!!

I can't say enough how much of a little stinker Hailey is. 

Her booster seat at the table has a hole where the tray would snap in. 

 I noticed a while back that she would start shoving her food into the hole, and I would have a huge mess on the chair to clean up later. She doesn't eat there anymore.

Today, she was "colouring" with the girls, in her booster while I was cleaning up. After everyone left the table, I called everyone back to clean up the mess, and Gracie says "Mama, there's like ten crayons in this box, when there should be like a thousand. But look! There's not even any on the floor!"

My first thought:

 And I was right on. 

Stinker.    

a beautiful email

I just have to share this. The following email came from Maribel, a blind mother of four offering me support and insight from a blind adult's point of view to help me with Hanna. I'm getting to know Maribel, and what an amazing woman she is. Her website and blog links will be at the end of this post for anyone interested. Her blog is definitely one that I think should be a part of everyone's daily reads. 

Let's just get to it. 

 Hi Jenn,

I have just come across your blog as I was doing some searches for people who blog about blindness / vision loss...
I think you and Hanna are amazing - love the story of Hanna getting her own stool to sit in front of the tv!

Her story strikes a particular chord in my own heart because you see, I am a person who has been coping with legal blindness since I was 15...now just tipped the 50's...and wanted to offer you any emotional support (or even advice or insights?) I can for your dear daughter who has a challenge ahead but with your love and support, she will find her way, I have no doubt!

What being blind has taught me is how we just have to find a way around to do the things we want to do - like Hanna does every day, it comes naturally to us to not think of ourselves as limited, we just have to do things a bit differently, that's all.

Like now, I use a computer with a screen reader called JAWS, he is a bit verbose but without the sound clues I couldn't do any of this - I am a writer and also have a blog so this screen reader is my life line to others through Cyber space which gives me a great feeling of independence.

I don't know what it is like to be the parent of a child with blindness, my own four children have been fortunate not to have my eye condition (RP) but I know my parents back in the 70s didn't do too well with the shock diagnosis - so I had to adapt a brave face and just do what I could, find other ways around the daily challenges and become very determined to keep moving forward in a safe and independent spirit...but also knowing when to ask for help = this took a LONG time to do!

It is only now as I am able to reflect, that one of THE most important things that keep me functioning happily in my blinkered view of the world, is the love and support I receive from not only family and friends, but the warm kindness from strangers I meet which has really surprised me. So I am able to graciously accept help from others and have learned, that by doing so, it actually helps them too by bringing a sense of compassion into their own hearts.

So Jenn, I am wondering, if there is anything you would like to know from the other side of the world, from the other way of 'seeing' that I can help you with in terms of helping Hanna in meeting her different needs? Although I think you are already very in tune with her and she seems to let you know but if you wanted an adult point of view, I am happy to share stories...

I write a blog sharing stories from my vision-impaired perspective and am currently writing a series called 'The Art of Being Blind' because I believe, like any trade or craft, we have to learn our way into the Art of functioning well as a blind person in a sighted world - gathering specific tools that help our craft and foster the skills and attitudes that work best  for each one of us. Sighted people do think it comes naturally but life can wear a few chips off our confidence meter and having ways to cushion our self-confidence on those difficult days, is very important to have at hand!

The current story is called 'It's touching to see the world' and has a small piece about my sighted child helping ME to see when he was four...

A previous story, part 3 'Insight through sound' may interest you as I talk about hearing = meeting people for the first time and what is going on in my mind to see / feel the vibes of body language.

http://gatewaytoblindness.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-art-of-being-blind-part-3-insight

http://gatewaytoblindness.blogspot.com/2013/03/part-4-its-touching-to-see-world.html

I offer you these links as a friendly gesture to help you understand our world...not to promote myself - because I think the stories may be of interest to you.

I also wish you all the very best with your next arrival - maybe a mother's day present!
Good luck and I do hope this email reaches you (not put in the spam box by a web filter as can happen),
Cheers from sunny Melbourne, Australia
Maribel

WEB: http://www.maribelsteel.com

BLOG: http://www.gatewaytoblindness.blogspot.com

BOOK: http://store-au.blurb.com/ebooks/354997-my-mother-s-harvest

 So there you have it. Worth sharing, doncha think? I recommend reading her work. She's very inspirational, and her positive outlook is so refreshing.

Thanks again for this email Maribel. It truly made my day.

baby number 4 update

The other night Yuli was over for a coffee, and we were talking about my pregnancy with Hailey. I couldn't remember too much. I had gestational diabetes, and they were going to induce me early. I couldn't remember how early I actually had her, or how much insulin I was on, or anything. So, we scrolled all the way back in the old blog to get some information. 

What I realized was that I didn't have nearly enough written down about my sweet Hailey. Hardly anything on the pregnancy at all! 

What I thought about then was that I haven't even said "boo" about this soon-to-be baby O'Hara. 

So, for document's sake, I'm going to just that.

Our newest peanut is due on May 10th. It's coming so fast! I feel really good, but I do have gestational diabetes again. I knew the risk of getting it was pretty high (95%), since I had it with Hailey, but I started the diet early on to try to delay it. I had the test pretty early, around 18 weeks I want to say, (usually it's at 28 weeks) and even though I passed it, I still checked my glucose levels daily, multiple times to keep an eye on things. 

By the time I was about 23 weeks, I was noticing that my fasting morning numbers were higher than they should be, so I brought it up to my OB. He sent me over to an Endocrinologist who put me on slow-released insulin before bed right away. I was now 25 weeks along. He started me at 8 units, and eventually gave me permission to adjust it as I needed to. I was told to inject into my abdomen. Yuck.

 Apparently, it's a good sign to have to add units as weeks go by. It means the baby's doing well. Now I'm up to 14 units at night, and he also added fast-acting insulin before breakfast. Morning is the only time that I have any problems. 

I have to check my numbers 5 times a day, and eat 7 times a day. It's hard to stay on such a strict schedule when I'm running around so much, and so busy every day. Sometimes I forget to eat, let alone check my numbers!  

Everything is looking really good though, and my Endo is really optimistic that since we caught it so early, we'll have a perfect delivery and baby. That's all we can ask for.

We have a few names picked out, for both a boy and a girl, because of course we're waiting for the surprise! But none that we've chosen as the "one".  

So far he/she reminds me of Hailey. Very active. All. The. Time.

:)

My Endo said I'll likely deliver 1 or 2 weeks early, so that puts me possibly at the end of April. My OB might think otherwise, so I wont depend on anything just yet. 

I'm enjoying every single second this time around anyway. We decided this will be our last little one, so I'm cherishing every little ache and pain. Every single minute of "expecting". 

There will be many updates I'm sure in the coming weeks, since I decided I can't leave anything out. In the meantime though, I'm just praying that this little one is healthy and getting ready to meet all of his or her big sisters! 

and she finds a solution

When we moved into our new place, Matt found it priority to mount the TV on the wall this time around. He's tired of little hands getting into all of his precious electronics.

The handy man that he is made his own mount to save on some money and built his own shelves right into the wall. Still needs some finishing touches (like me removing some of his games and putting pretty little things on those shelves instead) but I think he did a great job!

What we didn't take into account was our daughter who has a hard time seeing the TV unless she's right up to it. 

Duh!

I still feel so bad that we didn't even think about that before putting it up so high. We've found different ways to make it possible for her to see, but today she figured out what she needed on her own. 

Still in the process of organizing, there was a bar stool in the corner of the playroom tucked beside the lamp. Hanna somehow managed to make her way through the aftermath of the "toynado" that went through the playroom and dragged out the bar stool that's the same size as her. I watched as she placed it right where she figured she needed it, went back out to the kitchen to get her drink, and comfortably sat and watched Pingu. 

Hm.

       If we're watching a movie or something, just moving the couch out in front of the TV usually works out okay, and she's happy with that. I guess she figured she should find her own solution today, that actually did the job quite well.

"moe mott"

My little Hailey girl has quite a personality. She knows what she wants and when she wants it. 

She's a stinker. 

Every morning she wants her multigrain cheerios with milk and she sits at the little table all by herself and takes her time and eats every bit. Sometimes she'll ask for more, so I'll fill her little bowl again.

Lately though, she's started something new. 

She'll ask for her cereal all the same, but when she sits down at the table with it, she takes spoonfuls of milk until she can't get anymore without a cheerio making it's way onto the spoon.

So, she scoops out the cheerios with her hand, and continues to scoop up the milk with her spoon until it's gone. Then she'll say "MOE MOTT!" (Translation: "More milk!")

     My sister, Michelle came up with a genius plan. Give her two separate bowls. One with milk, and one with dry cheerios. So far it's working like a charm, and she's eating both the cheerios and the milk again.

What a little handful she is.

children's centre full developmental assessment

Hanna had her full assessment today at our local Children's Centre. Here's how it went:

We (my mom, me, Hanna and the coordinator) walked into a room where there were three different people sitting in there waiting for us. There was an occupational therapist, a speech therapist, and an educational consultant.

There were three chairs set up for us, along with the other three making half a circle around a little chair with a desk in the middle of the room. The atmosphere threw me off a little bit to be honest. 

Hanna strutted in there with us and climbed right up into one of the chairs that circled the little one. I think it took everyone by surprise, and showed a little bit of her personality, so it was a good way to start things off.

They invited her to sit in the chair "perfectly sized for her" and to play with some toys and she quickly responded with "okay!" and jumped down and sat right into her little chair. The OT sat down beside her and laid a bunch of toys in front of her onto the little desk. Hanna immediately grabbed the baby doll and gave her a drink from her bottle. She proceeded to tell them to "shh" because the baby was sleeping. 

There were different toys brought out and she was carefully examined by everyone in the room as she played. Watching and listening to everything that was being said or done. Hanna was so co-operative, surprisingly in the environment, and everyone was clearly, without a doubt impressed. They understood most of what she said, and the occupational therapist said that the "skills she's presenting are wonderful considering her vision loss". 

The SLP then sat down with her and listened to how she responded to her questions and quickly realized that her receptive language is age appropriate and she followed all of her directions very well.  She also noted some stuttering and obvious pronunciation errors with certain letters.

I asked to have an educational consultant sit in as well because I wanted to learn about everything that would be available to her in the school system, and any information they could give me about programs while homeschooling. I wanted to know our options. I've been feeling funny about homeschooling Hanna only because I think a regular classroom setting would be so good for her. 

They took Hanna into the PT room to see if she would be able to climb onto a regular bus, using stairs that were built exactly the size of a school bus steps. They were concerned that because she's so small she wouldn't be able to get up. She did really good, but the first step was a bit too high for my liking. If I was to send her on a bus I would be there to get her on anyhow. They were very impressed with her safety awareness while going up and down the steps as well.

We went over what a school would have to do before she started attending, like bathroom equipment to help getting on and off easier, etc. and if she would have a one-on-one helper throughout the day. It blew my mind when they told us she wouldn't qualify for a one-on-one. Just shows how well she's doing, but really? A legally blind child wouldn't have a helper in a classroom full of little kids running around? I wasn't happy to hear that.

Maybe it's because it's mainly play still in Kindergarten and it wouldn't be worth paying someone extra to just help Hanna play. I'm not sure the reasoning behind it, but I started leaning more toward homeschooling at this point. 

We also learned that we could have the option of sending her part-time for next year as opposed to a full day, every day. But then we started thinking, would that be fair to do that for a year, and then take her out? 

As we were leaving, our coordinator (who is a behaviour and social specialist) was talking about the school options again and made us feel really good about the co-op we have her in once a week with the homeschooling and the Early Years Centre she attends once a week with my mom. We got the idea from all of them that those things will keep her socialized enough, and kindergarten wouldn't be much different than what she's already doing. SO, I think homeschool is our best (and safest!) option. 

We were actually really surprised how unbiased they were with the homeschooling. Especially coming from an educational consultant, they didn't have anything negative to say about my wanting to homeschool, so that was pretty cool, and actually very unexpected.

Here's a summary of what the therapists had to say about Hanna. Coming right off of the document we received from the screening.       

       Occupational Therapy

"Good foundational skills. Age appropriate grasps. Poor strength and poor manipulation within hand. Switches hands to reposition objects. Vision impacts skills. Good attention, and comprehension of verbal requests. Small stature may require bathroom equipment."

Communication Therapy

"Demonstrates receptive language skills within age appropriate limits. Some concerns evident with speech intelligibility - errors t,v,g. Some speech dysfluencies noted - prolongations at beginning of a sentence." 

So, in a nutshell, Hanna did awesome. She qualifies to have Speech and Occupational Therapy there, at the centre, or at our home, and I am so excited about it. I already saw some awesome stuff that they can do that I would never even think about. For example, the OT purposely handed Hanna a toy the wrong way and held her other hand so she had to reposition it without using her other hand. Right there is an example of a simple, and I'm sure very effective little trick that I would never have thought of!

It will be great to have professionals working with her, helping her reach her full potential.  

We weren't sure what to expect and we were pretty nervous about this assessment. Maybe we're biased because we're around Hanna all the time, and we look past things. Turns out that even the "pros" agree. Hanna is an amazing and "sharp" little thing. 

She sure did make us proud!